by Jessica Gendron-Labbe | photography by Jose Leiva

The mental health crisis across the United States has become a silent epidemic throughout our communities, with veterans among the most adversely affected. According to the 2020 Maine Veteran Suicide Data Sheet, there were 228 suicides in Maine that year, 38 were U.S. veterans — numbers American Legion Post Commander and State Judge Advocate Julie Flynn and National Eastern Division National Security Chairman, Debra Rumery, could not ignore. Together, they have taken the lead on an initiative that cuts through the stigma and encourages open, honest conversations about mental health and suicide prevention.

Be The One Comes to Maine

Be the One – Debra Rumery and Julie Flynn

Together, Flynn and Rumery have spearheaded the Maine Be The One program for the American Legion’s Nationwide Be The One training initiative. They have also created a class structure that aligns with the VA S.A.V.E. program, and they spend many weekends traveling the state to deliver their two-hour training.

“We developed the training for Maine in January 2024, and so far, we have trained 200 people this year,” Rumery says. “We plan on doubling that in 2025.”

When Flynn and Rumery decided to take on Be The One for Maine, there were no second thoughts or considerations. Flynn, a veteran herself, and Rumery, a veteran family member, take their long-standing responsibility seriously. The training they created for this program has been recognized five times on a national level since its creation.

“Being a veteran family member, it’s our job to make sure our veterans are safe,” Rumery says. “It’s why we are here.”

Ask the Question

The training Rumery and Flynn have created covers myths about suicide and misinformation that leads to the stigma around mental health. It also takes a deeper dive into the VA S.A.V.E. program and the importance of each step: know the Signs, Ask the questions, Validate the experience, and Expedite the veteran to help.

“While delivering this program, we’ve found 90% of people didn’t know it was ok to ask the question ‘Are you thinking of suicide?’” Flynn says.

Research has shown that asking someone if they are thinking about suicide does not give them the idea to want to die by suicide. In reality, it opens the door to a safe space for them to talk about their thoughts and feelings and get information on sources that can help. Be The One training gives people the knowledge and permission to ask the questions that could save someone’s life.

Listen with Empathy

Empathetic listening is a skill that only comes naturally to some. According to Flynn and Rumery, you need to use your ears, eyes, and heart to listen empathetically. Listening to others this way opens you up to seeing and feeling the world the way they do and responding in a helpful way. When responding empathetically, it’s important to acknowledge their feelings with a respectful tone, saying things like “What you’re feeling is valid” or “That sounds really hard.”

Flynn and Rumery’s Be The One training gives attendees the awareness and skills needed to be effective, empathetic listeners for their loved ones.

Listening and responding with empathy can make a person feel valued and connected. Human connection and a safe space with an empathetic listener can be a lifeline for those struggling with a feeling of isolation that is often associated with suicidal thoughts.

Be the One to Save Someone

Maine’s Be The One program, while geared towards helping save the lives of veterans, is not just for veterans or American Legion members. Anyone in the community is welcome to attend a training. Flynn and Rumery schedule four to five trainings a year for Legion members, leaving space in their schedule for others to request a training session.

Flynn and Rumery provide detailed, informative training that covers the VA S.A.V.E. program, empathetic listening, and even giving out gun locks when needed. An article on news.va.gov suggests if you put distance – like a gun lock – between the thought of suicide and the means to complete it, minds can be changed. Lives can be saved.

According to the same source, cable locks, trigger locks, and gun safes are all tools that can slow down the process and create distance between thought and action. Often, making the decision to attempt suicide and taking the action happens in a small window. Any tool used to help lengthen that window could save lives.

Flynn and Rumery’s training provides knowledge of, resources for, and access to these life-saving tools.

“We are not trained psychologists; we are simply American Legion members that want to save our veteran’s lives with an effective program,” Rumery says.

Be The One training is more than an initiative or mission. Every training is a call to action for everyone to take responsibility for providing a safe space, an empathetic ear, and the resources to save lives.

Be The One
BeTheOnedeptme@gmail.com | BeTheOne.org

Citations:
www.mentalhealth.va.gov/docs/data-sheets/2020/2020-State-Data-Sheet-Maine-508.pdf

www.jcmh.org/the-truth-about-three-common-suicide-myths-and-how-you-can-help-someone-in-crisis

news.va.gov/31474/increasing-distance-thoughts-action-one-step-preventing-suicide